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• (810): View more from Michigan

  i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.

  (1-810): View more from Michigan

  nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.

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• (347): View more from New York

  So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?

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