would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize