i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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