Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
