I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
