i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
