i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
