Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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