My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
