ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
