I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
