He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
