So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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