After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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