I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
i out mim tonsoeep
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