This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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