i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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