Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
