i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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