hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
