Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
