please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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