Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
so explain again why im purple
no
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
