Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
