then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
