How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
