You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
