Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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