Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(815): View more from Illinois

I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo

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(314): View more from Missouri

I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.

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(985): View more from Louisiana

I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.

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(905): View more from Ontario

threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.

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(954): View more from Florida

Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.

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(770): View more from Georgia

DR UNK TOWN USA

(770): View more from Georgia

TEAM USA GO AMERICA

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(708): View more from Illinois

I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.

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(360): View more from Washington

I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.

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(510): View more from California

That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!

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