so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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