these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize