I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
