So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
