scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
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