Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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