I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
