i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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