So drunk, too bad you don't want this
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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