Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
