just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
