After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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