he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
