Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
