I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
