I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
