Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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