the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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