its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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