Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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