I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Just puked most of my soul out..
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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