So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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