I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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