I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
