Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
