He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
