They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
